Guru Talk: Would You Continue To Date A Person With Herpes?If you have a sexually transmitted infection, experts say in the dating world, you already have a label. The online dating world for most is overwhelming when it comes to options, but if you have a sexually transmitted infection or disease, the pool can seem a lot smaller. Most people are introduced to these infections and diseases as a consequence of having unprotected sex or having multiple partners, Pierce says, and this further adds to the stigma. On top of this, some people just have infections and not diseases. Pierce says for starters, anyone with the disease or infection should know exactly what they have. This is a good first step to find people who have gone through the same experience, she says. In turn, someone with an STI could meet someone without an infection, but who is open to the idea of being with someone who does.
According to DWH. So, even if you and your partner wait to be tested before having sex -- if you haven't asked for the specific herpes blood test -- there is STILL the risk that one or both of you have the HSV1 or HSV2 virus and don't know it.
I want to make this one point very clear.
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Just because you have herpes does not mean you are "dirty" or "damaged goods. Statistically per cent of adults carry the HSV1 virus in the form of cold sores whereas per cent carry the HS2 virus on the genitals. HSV1 has become the cause of about 30 per cent of new genital herpes infections -- usually spread via oral sex. It can be spread from one partner to another even when there are NO noticeable symptoms on the part of either partner.
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Since many people engage in oral sex without the use of condoms or dental dams, getting genital herpes from oral sex is increasingly common. And the not-so-"funny" thing is, it's more common to be thought of as "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2, yet no one seems to mind if it's "just a cold sore.
HSV1 and HSV2 are essentially the same virus -- it's just a matter of where they present on the body.
Things can get tricky in the dating world, especially if you have an STI. Positive Singles is for people with herpes and STDs, MPWH is for. Herpes Dating Canada, HPV Support Vancouver, Genital Warts Dating herpes match and support in Vancouver, Toronto, Ontario, Montreal. Just because you have montreal does not mean you are "dirty" or "damaged goods. Statistically per cent of adults herpes dating HSV1 virus herpes the form of .
So, to the aware individual who has done her homework on the Herpes virus, you are no more "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2 instead of HSV1. In fact, you not "dirty" either way!
Mary, I feel that your question about herpes is so critically important because your major concern has to do with the ongoing painful physical symptoms that you've endured and how you could never risk passing this on to someone you love. This is where I feel a little concerned, and not from a coaching or therapy perspective that has to do with helping you find a more supportive outlookbut from a physical health standpoint.My Experience Dating a Herpes Positive
I've conferred with my partner Todd who is a physician and I've read as I'm sure you have numerous websites about the typical symptoms of herpes. None seem to be anywhere as severe as you've described and for that reason, Todd suggested that you may want to consider seeing a specialist: an immunologist. To address your question about not wanting to pass this painful virus onto someone else, I completely understand.
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However, I also feel that the pertinent thing to keep in mind here is that the symptoms you are having are not "normal" without trying to make you feel "abnormal". You may never notice symptoms from an HSV infection.
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On the other hand, you might notice symptoms within a few days to a couple of weeks after the initial contact. Or you might not have an initial outbreak of symptoms until months or even years after becoming infected. When symptoms occur soon after a person is infected, they tend to be severe. They may start as small blisters that eventually break open and produce raw, painful sores that scab and heal over within a few weeks.
Mary, I feel confident that once you get your symptoms under control you will be able to release the trauma of this painful time in your life. This will then allow you to see herpes for what it really is: an unfortunate occurrence that can be mildly inconvenient at times.
When and how to reveal the "herpes secret" is a top of mind question for anyone who has contracted the virus. I wish I had the space to cover this topic on this blog post but I'm already way over.
They give excellent advice on how to handle this super sensitive topic. The Gremlin, as fellow dating coach Marni Battista likes to call it, is that mean, judgmental, condemning voice inside your head. The Gremlin is responsible for all of your sabotaging thoughts.
And Mary, in the case of contracting the virus for herpes, I can only imagine that your Gremlin is yelling at the top of her lungs. YOU: Although it's unfortunate and not something I would ever wish on anyone, it's not the worst thing that could happen.
I am still alive and although I'm in physical pain from my symptoms, I know they will eventually subside. When they do, the pain of what's happened won't be so apparent and I can move on with my life.
I'm choosing to accept my reality because I can't change it and the stress of wishing I could isn't helping me. I know that stress affects my immune system's ability to fight this virus, so instead of beat myself up over this, I'm going to use this experience as a reminder to love myself more.
YOU: On first glimpse, I believed this to be totally true. However, I choose to look at this in the most positive light possible. Whereas before I felt free to let attraction to a man take over me, now I have to be more discerning and take my time to get to know him WELL, before I enter into a sexual relationship. This will give me the time I need to screen my partner and be sure he's a great match for me, before we get intimate.
And while there is the chance that he may decide to leave, and that will really hurt, I also know that I want a man who will be by my side through thick and thin. If he cares enough he will take the time to understand the risks and the ways in which we can protect him from contracting the virus.
How could you ever put someone you love at risk with this? Suppressive therapy is one way, but in addition to this I am going to make it my mission to know my body so intently that I will know when I am shedding the virus even before an outbreak. I will choose to make my symptoms a signpost in my life that signifies slowing down, reducing stress, and amping up self-care and self-nurturing. I will abstain from sexual activity with a partner and show myself love instead.
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