ISTJ & ENFP Duality - for Jake DavenportSpecifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:. However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.
This is not deliberate but it can alienate those trying to get close or get to know them. ENFPs are emotional people who tend to be at the heart of dramas. Their genuinely caring nature means they will ensure that the mood is kept light, that everyone feels valued and that the ideas will flow. Detached and factual ISTJs often find it difficult to deal with emotions as they see this as irrational and when others display emotions they have to translate the emotion into factual language that they can understand.
An ENFP will wear their heart on their sleeve and has no problem being open. However their values are so important and these are internalised so it may be possible to inadvertently hurt the ENFP.
Deep and private ISTJs will tend to keep their feelings to themselves and until they have the measure of people will be unlikely to proactively share their feelings. Too much interaction sucks their energies.
The ENFP cannot help but see possibilities. Future oriented they will look far beyond the obvious often seeing things that others fail to, driven by the new, the complex, the interesting and caring for people. ISTJs like people to stick to agreements and commitments and may not understand that this is human nature, not human deficiency as they themselves take such commitments incredibly seriously.
ENFPs require a specific approach to being managed, motivated and developed, so that they are best able to contribute to the wider team. To find out how best to develop different personalities take a look at our development tool. Understanding what makes an ISTJ tick will help bring out the best in them, support them and know how they can play to their strengths. At Work. We all bring something different to the team and we all agree that difference and balance are good things.
However when someone is different from us we might not understand them so well so in this section we allow you to compare the differences at work, how these might manifest themselves and how best to manage them.
Contribution to the team. Being managed. Culture fit. Some people seek harmony, some see conflict as simply robust discussions, some people are emotional, some more factual. So there is no right or wrong about this and what we are trying to do is help two different people each understand how the other might deal with conflict and what it will mean for how they work together.
Initial response to conflict situations. Issues they'll fight on. How they feel after. Creating harmony. Now, we're more harmonious. Our psychological voices blend.
Dating Advice for ENFP and ISTJ Personality Types
Thanks for reading and commenting. I greatly enjoyed reading this post. We've been happily married for two years and together for five. While my husband and I have secondary personality traits that differ very much from each other, we have very similar fundamental values and beliefs, such as religion, politics, gender roles and parenting style. I tend to be more rational and practical, in a sense that I like to dissect a problem into manageable pieces and analyze the best options before I tackle it, while he trusts his gut feeling.
We balance each very well in that aspect because though I'm Judging and he's Perceiving, we help each other understand and accept other ways of thinking, through the love and respect we share, which in turn also helps me be more accepting of other people's views and opinions.
I would have to say though, communication and mutual respect are definitely the major key factors that contribute to our successful relationship. We both think respect for each is sacred and once you lose it there's no turning back, so we're both thoughtful of our words even when we're disagreeing.
I am so glad I found your post. The only other article I found said they ended up divorced and she was happy about it. So, thank you so much for posting this more positive side to opposites marrying. We have been together almost 16 years and I think we are at our absolute worst. It seems the more I concede the less he does. I feel like he resents me on a deep level and criticism is constant. One of us is always defending ourselves.
I'm honestly so exhausted and worn out that I don't even care sometimes what happens with it. But, I know I should care more. We have 2 kids under 6 years old.
We married very young. I sometimes have no idea what we were thinking and feel like I am serving a life sentence. Oh, to have someone just automatically and intuitively understand me!
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What is that even like? I will probably never know! I hope it gets better for us - I suggested counseling so hoping it helps take the edge off! I also hope we can forgive each other because I know I feel extremely unloved and under valued and am a shell of my former self. I used to laugh and have fun and now I just sit in my house and hope I don't see anyone. It's just weird! We are moving soon to be close to family and I really hope that helps me get back to my old self.
Anyway, after another bad fight that lasted all day, I found your article comforting. When my wife and I took our premarital counselling, the first thing the priest did was to give us the Myers-Briggs. The priest walked into the room and said, "I'm not telling you not to get married, but you guys are going to have some real challenges. Years later I attended a workshop that talked about marriage compatibility and Myers-Briggs.
I noticed that all the answers here were from ISTJ's describing what they enjoy about ENFP's but no ENFP's explaining what they really enjoy. People often say that opposites attract. Never has this been truer than for my husband and me. I'm an ISTJ personality type and he's an ENFP. Compare ENFP and ISTJ personalities to understand how they best work together. Where are the areas of similarity and potential areas for conflict.
With "long term" being defined as more than three years, our types had the least success in staying married long term. Well, it hasn't always been easy--no one promised me it would be--but it has certainly been worth it, and here we are, looking ahead to another 33 years at least! I thought we were opposites as well but actually if you take Myers Briggs back to the original theory you come at the four letter code through cognitive functions and when you do that the ENFP and ISTJ share all the same cognitive functions they just have them in completely the opposite order.
This section ISTJ - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this . I've experienced the same feelings from dating an ISTJ in the past. I also see so many posts from ENFP-ISTJ couples either divorcing or going to couples. I received an email recently that reminded me of my dating days. The person was an ENFP (an Extraverted, flexible green), dating an ISTJ (an Introverted.
I think this explains why my husband and I are so different but also we are very similar in our values. We have hanged out in groups and had an official one on one time yesterday. But he hasn't followed up. I asked him the first time. Do I wait? Or try one more time? Hey there! My boyfriend's also an ISTJ. We've been together for 2 years now. For some reason, he's not quite as cold as a lot of people make ISTJs to be.
He loves going out as long as it's a small group of friends or going to a local bar where he really respects the bartender's opinions and admires his craft.
It's just completely sweet the way he melts and gets all maternal whenever he's got a kitten in his hands. However, I sometimes can't stand the way he can't tell me how he's feeling. He can show me and he shows it very well, but it's hard to understand from a gesture if someone loves you or they just care a lot about you.
When I tried asking, he just said, "You bring fun and spontaneity into my life. Still haven't heard the words, but I can definitely tell I'm not just another girl to him. What about you? Did it take a long time for him to say he loves you? Did you feel like you somehow knew he loved you and you were just waiting for him to figure it out? It literally makes my day!!!
He's more chess, card games that require strategy, video games, t. I'm video games, t. So marathoning is a given already. I know movie dates, but that's tricky cause all of our friends are introverts so they are automatically tagging along But as an E, I feel like I'm kind of failing to spice things up.
So I'm trying? This article is great! We are currently in our 7 year itch. Reading this describes so many things that we face and it's great to see that it can work.
With a little hard work and acceptance. We are lucky in that we both have patience for each other and we both try to come from a place of understanding.
I appreciate so much, our differences, because it means that all aspects of a certain situation will be covered. For instance in your road trip example, that is very much how we are, all the bases covered. How to get there and what we're eating. It's so nice to see that this really can work. I agree it can be very frustrating sometimes but that's when you have to look at it with appreciation and acceptance for the other person's view.
Thank you for sharing!
ISTJ and ENFP couple is probably one of the most unlikely couples, yet all personality types can potentially get along and be way happier than most of us. People with an ISTJ personality type tend to be reserved, orderly, and practical in their behavior. They are self-sufficient and work hard to meet their obligations. Categories: Personalities in Love, ENFP, ISTJ Well, I'm the poster-child for the ENFP personality. .. caution anyone that is wondering about these big differences when you are dating that this is the best it will ever get.
Whoops, enfp fee! Looks like I failed to respond to your awesome comment. Forgive me! This time 2 years ago my husband was hospitalized for 66 days!!
That absolutely put our differences into perspective! Thank YOU for pointing out that patience, appreciation and acceptance go a long way. May I be add, those 3 will be superheroes in ANY relationship regardless of personalities. I loved reading this article, this is a lot like me and my husband, we got married about 7 months ago and will be together for 4 years, I'm 25 and he's I feel like I've learned a lot about him and about myself so far and he's definitely my best friend in a lot of ways, I love his practical side, because it doesnt hurt researching the best product for the best price while on my end I make it aesthetically appealing.
I feel like we're the perfect team. He makes everything seem so stable. We do fight about little things, but we both try to put things in perspective, if its not detrimental than it doesn't matter.
Having a sense of humor in those types of arguments I think is really important. I do believe that there is a lot more that goes into a relationship including the way you were brought up. Both my parents are very practical so being with him gives me that sense of security. Our relationship has definitely gotten better over time too.
Neither of us are the type to give up, we are very family oriented and believe in working out little problems so we can have fun again.
And by fun I dont mean I force him to hang out with me when he needs alone time either, since I used to be an introvert I completely understand.
Thank YOU so much for commenting! My greatest advice remains, find then KEEP your sense of humor and keep a running list of your spouse's strengths. Focus always on what you love about him and his your differences make you better individually and as a unit!
You remind me to do the same this day! I really need help on this. Sure we can run a household successfully and accept eachothers differences. We even share the same core values such a religion, politics, famoly, integrity. My issue is that we have no emotional or intellectual chemistry. We'll organise a date but the conversation is awkward and the connection or lack of feels unnatural.
Even if we talk about a topic we have in common. We dont share the energy and we dont bounce off eachother.
It feels wrong that I feel enotionally, socially and intellectually more fufilled with like minded friends than I do with my own husband. Like it should be more comfy! I get it too. It makes me sad. But I try not to obsess about it unsuccessfully, lately.
Istj and enfp dating
But I also get delighted when we do connect well. We joined the Chamber and we're actively involved, contributing our separate talents. Recently, we joined a gym and workout three times a week. They want to feel loved and appreciated, and in order to get love and appreciation from other people, they give love to everyone around them. They give out strokes to others in hopes to get strokes in return. Once they commit and proclaim their love, they see no need to repeat themselves.
They believe that their partners should just know they are loved and express their feelings by being responsible partners. ENFPs are great idea generators but they rarely follow through. They end up talking a lot but doing very little. ISTJs think that leisure must be earned and that fun activities can only take place after their work is done.ISTJ and ENFP Relationship